Ashley Aretakis-Fredo

Educational Autobiographical Reflection

                I have not really thought a lot about the connection between my education and my career choice until now, but I realize that prior to college, little influence existed for me to choose special education as my career.  I am 23 years old, and even though that seems relatively young, much has changed in a short while in special education. My educational experience prior to college had relatively little exposure to special education.  I was always in regular education classes.  However, my entire education contributes to my experience and thus is a vital component to understanding my perceptions on curriculum, teaching, and special education.

My family lived in Oregon when I started elementary school.  I always enjoyed school; learning came easy for me.  I made plenty of friends, exceeded in academics, and became “teacher’s pet” in many classrooms.  I enjoyed many activities in the classroom.  I loved sitting on the floor and listening to my teacher read aloud books.  Math was my favorite subject, I enjoyed P.E., and have fond memories of sitting with classmates around the calendar center for “circle time”.  In my classroom, I read aloud to the students every day and use circle time for my activities. My teachers usually assigned cooperative groups for math and reading according to skill level and this was the only time school frustrated me.  I participated in the “higher-level” group and I remember constantly waiting on the other “lower-level” groups to finish their assignments.  The “higher-level” kids remained in the same group throughout school and the “lower-level” kids never progressed to higher groups because they never experienced any other form of modeling or scaffolding.  These experiences have influenced me to not assign heterogeneous cooperative groups in my classroom.  I create homogenous groups so that students teach and learn from each other.

Special Education played a little role in my elementary school experience.  I am sure that I did not know of the concept of special education like the children at the elementary school I work at now do.  I did not know that these children were educated in a separate classroom, apart from the rest of us.  I remember a couple of kids in wheelchairs, and one girl with Down Syndrome.  My memories of these children are limited to lunch and P.E.  At lunch, a couple of kids in wheelchairs sold milk at the end of the lunch line.  Usually, they sat in their wheelchairs next to crates of milk with a basket to collect money on the floor next to them.  I do not remember the “regular” education students interacting at all with them.  We dropped our dime in the basket, grabbed our milk and did not even do so much as make eye contact. In P.E., the kids with disabilities sat on the side usually and watched the rest of us play.  Occasionally, the coach presented an activity that they were able to participate in, but that happened seldomly.

I think of the word “difficult” when I think of middle school.  I became a very shy person when I entered sixth grade, surrounded by all the kids at my school.  I did not have many friends, and was too afraid to try any new activities or join any clubs.  I excelled in school, and my favorite subjects were math and science.  I tried to win the respect of as many teachers as possible because I wanted someone to like me.  I read a lot of books too, spending most of my lunch and recess in the library.  My family bought a computer when I was in seventh grade, and I spent many hours writing stories on it. 

                I do not remember any children with disabilities in middle school.  Either they did not attend the school or they never participated in any school activities.  No students from special education learned in the same classes I did, attended pep rallies, participated in physical education, or ate lunch with the rest of the school.  My middle school experience did not expose me at all to children with disabilities.

                At the start of high school, my family moved to Texas.  I played basketball, made friends with the kids in my neighborhood and became less shy and more outgoing.  I enjoyed my time at school.  I took AP (college-prep) reading courses but usually grew frustrated with the reading lists; I wanted to choose my own books to read.   The concept of  a “reading schedule” was very unnatural to me and actually discouraged me from reading.  Today, I try to give my students as much freed as possible with book selection and self-paced reading.  My favorite class in high school was U.S. History.  It spurred my interest in history, current events and social activism.  Basketball became a huge part of school for me as well.  It allowed me to make friends, get physically fit, and taught me about team work.   The sport and my experience greatly influenced me and taught me the importance of the relationship and maintenance of mind, body and soul.  In my classroom, I attempt to design curriculum incorporating all three of these ideas so that holistic learning occurs.

                Once again, my memories of special education in high school are very limited.  No concept of inclusion in the classes I attended existed; these were AP classes and I think the school did not want to risk any type of “academic slowdown” or “distraction”.  As a result, students experienced a false impression of the world in my school.  The more popular I  became in high school, the more exclusionary I became and eventually, my friends and I spent a lot of our time making fun of kids who were different, including special education.  I remember making fun of this girl who bit her arm a lot.  Also, the boy with mental retardation who worked at the same grocery store I did whom we would try and confuse all the time.  One time, we even made him believe he was promoted from bagger to cashier.  During these times, I did not think at all about the students or their feelings.  I was not even conscious of how horribly I treated or thought of people who were different than me until I got to college.

                My first year of college at the University of Texas was very hard for me.  The many transitions I experienced became overwhelming at times and for the first time I experienced a lot of difficulty with school.  My major was business and I was not very interested in my studies.  I did not understand how to adequately study either.  My sophomore year, I switched my major to astronomy and became a lot more interested and successful in school.   I still had a low grade point average and problems studying, but I slowly made progress.  Mid-way through the semester, my problems with managing my money caught up with me and I needed a job desperately.  I found an ad in the newspaper that read “Come Work with Our Special Child”.  I called the family and scheduled an interview. 

                I interviewed for a job with a child with autism.  I did not know anything about autism or kids with disabilities, and I think I was hired because I treated Nathan exactly how I treated every child.  From there, I learned about teaching kids with Applied Behavior Analysis, worked at school with Nathan, provided respite, took him to birthday parties and practiced social tasks.   Even though he did not talk and could not do much by himself, Nathan became one of my closest friends and I learned that, as corny as it sounds, just because he seemed different did not mean he was any less of a human being.  I fell in love with teaching him, thinking of communication methods, learning about his disability, and working with him at school and home and realized what I wanted to do for a career and changed my major to Special Education.  I think that my experience with Nathan influenced me most in choosing my career and teaching field.  I was not interested in teaching before I met Nathan and never experienced interest in teaching anything else.

                My last year of college, I took a course entitled “Disability Studies” which studied the Disability  Civil rights movement.  This class, and my experience with Nathan and the many other children I have worked with, has provided me with very strong opinions and beliefs about people with disabilities and their participation in society.  I believe that people with disabilities should be treated with equality and fairness, and provided with every opportunity that people without disabilities are provided.  By teaching Special Education, I feel that I can extend this idea to people with disabilities realistically.   The lessons and plans I create address self-determination, inclusion, social relationships, life-skills, and especially academics.  I feel that by using teaching these concepts, the children with disabilities that I teach will be provided with knowledge and opportunity that will allow them to progress and grow.

                I absolutely love my job, and I fall for every child that I work with.  At times, it is very draining and frustrating, but there is not a day that goes by that I do not leave work feeling excited and thinking about the next day.  I am very lucky to have found my passion and I feel it necessary to care and nurture it by furthering my education so that I can become a better teacher.